When will I BE a Runner?

It is one thing to do something. I run. I play piano. I cook. It is another thing altogether to BE something. I AM a runner. I AM a musician. I AM a cook. I didn't start playing piano until I was 25, so it took me a long time to consider myself a musician, rather than simply an entertainer who plays piano. I couldn't wrap my brain around owning what it means to be a musician. I didn't want to diminish what it meant to be able to say that until I felt I had earned it.

So, I run, but I am no where near being a runner, nor do I know when I might be able to own it. Perhaps it will be after my first race, which is a terrifying 13 days away. Maybe it'll be after my half marathon in February. I think it is going to have more to do how well I am able to run long distances; when my times are more respectable. 

I'm not feeling great today. I wanted to get up early to do the 5am class, so I set two alarms on my Fitbit; 4:26 and 4:35. I 'woke up' but I was in such deep sleep that I just laid there, ultimately deciding to do the 6am class. But I didn't go back to sleep, and now I'm paying for it. I did well in the 6am class, though. Laly told me that I was fired up today, and I definitely felt strong. My stupid heart rate monitor kept shutting off again, so I didn't good info for Janelle, but I figure if I am going to be doing these low heart rate runs on the off days, I really need to get a lot out of my strength and interval training that I get through these classes. 

245.1 today. Nutrition is flawless, though I haven't even gotten to Whole Foods to prepare meals. Yesterday I bought a prepared meal and a cobb salad from Lifetime, and I went and got a cobb salad today from Sprouts and I bought some edamame with wasabi to put on it to spice it up. The kids want to go to the gym tonight, so I will probably eat at Lifetime again and hot tub it up. 

I AM a student, and I'm right in the middle of my online classes. I am either the most productive I have ever been in my life or I am piling goal on top of goal until I am not able to achieve any of them. Definitely one of those.