Four years ago today Claire and I went to her ultrasound appointment. I think it was the time that she got a ticket for basically getting in a police officer's way. She was in the left turn lane, waiting to turn, when the light turned yellow and then red. She didn't pull into the intersection to turn after the light changed, and the cop wrote her a ticket for impeding traffic. She was pregnant and didn't want to pull into oncoming traffic, so I guess he had a point to make or something.
That is not the good memory. The good memory is the tears of joy as we sat in the car afterward, calling family to tell them that M was going to have a baby sister. Ever since that day our family has had a symmetry. A boy just like daddy, a girl just like mommy. We've been a perfect little family of four, and I can't believe that was only four years ago. It feels like it has always been this way.
I've been thinking a lot about how my shift in priorities toward a more healthy lifestyle has affected them, good and bad. There are definitely struggles. I'm busy without needing to find time for the gym. The house always smells like something healthy dad is cooking. I give mommy a guilt trip any time she gives the kids cookies before dinner or offends me personally by taking the kids to get happy meals. Then of course the past two days I've been recovering from an absolute crash in which I have had no energy. I told Claire that my new fitter self would have MORE energy to be a dad, and now I am already budgeting a lot of that energy for running races.
It's hard. But it is still better than it was before. This is all new, and I'll learn how to eat to prepare for runs so I don't crash like I did this week. We won't live in our small apartment forever, so maybe the whole house won't smell like healthy daddy food. I will have more energy to go do the things a dad should with his kids. Most of all, hopefully, I will model good behavior that will keep them from ever having to struggle with this the way I am.
I feel a lot better today. I actually added a piece of whole wheat toast to my breakfast (140 calories?!?). Morning carbs, especially since I am going to be running more) are going to be the newest tweak to my routine. Janelle called me late last night and told me to run "no longer than 30 minutes and get my heart rate to no more than 141 bps". I wonder how slow I have to run to stay below 141. Anyway, that is all I'm doing today, then I have my Team Fit class in the morning. Sitting at 241.5 today, so there is definitely more work to be done.
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