Where have I been?
Where to start. Well, I guess I'll start with the good. 1:23:48. My first 10k, Thanksgiving Day. I felt great, until about 5 minutes after I stopped running, when I got terrible shin splints. I didn't know until I asked my trainer about them that they even were shin splints, it was a terrible pain on the back of my leg under my calves and down to my Achilles. Still, I was run the entire thing without stopping - check! As it got closer, I was hoping that I'd finish in under 90 minutes - check! Most of all, I didn't want to be last and embarrass myself - check!
Since then, however, I've done very little training. In fact, come to think of it... almost none. Thanksgiving was the 27th - twelve days ago. Sure there were a few days in there where I was recovering, but I've gone to the gym exactly one time to work out since then. So I guess that is the Bad.
The Ugly, as always, is my diet. I've been awful. That day I used the race and the holiday to just stuff my face without guilt. That in-of-itself would be fine, but the days after I've completely fallen off the wagon. I guess the whole month of November was rough, and I thought (as I think most 'dieters' often feel) that December 1st I'd recommit and get right back into the rhythm. Nope. Fast food, alcohol, late night binges... My head is spinning with how quickly I can go from one extreme to the other.
It's obvious, too. I don't even want to weigh myself right now. I skipped a Dietbet weigh in because I knew I would be over. I've had a day or two in the past two weeks where I've tried to get back into my routine and it has helped triage the bleeding, but if I don't get back on track soon I'm gonna watch all of my progress disappear and I don't know if I can handle that mentally. I made my chili but it is going bad in the fridge since I haven't eaten it in days. I was using Claire's fitbit, but I lost that too and then I decided I couldn't justify going to get another one.
Today, however, I decided that was a mistake. I went and ponied up the 100 bucks, because I am not going to let this bad streak ruin me. I have an appointment with Janelle today, which is going to be like going to confession, and I'm hoping to put together a strategy. I am going to go to my Team Fit class tomorrow. I AM GOING TO GO TO MY TEAM FIT CLASS TOMORROW. I AM GOING TO GO TO MY TEAM FIT CLASS TOMORROW. As emphatic as I write that, I'm still terrified that I am not going to go to my team fit class tomorrow. I went last Wednesday and I was sore for a week.
Mostly, I need to start running again. I have goals. I want to improve on that time on my next 10k on January 18th. I want to run that entire Half Marathon on February 28th. I want to win my diet bet, which ends January 28th. I still need to lose a lot of weight to get into that 100+ club.
Resilience is something I struggle with. These things generally force me to fall into a depression that will more than undo all of my progress. These next few months are critical, and I need to keep fighting.
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