My wife asked me today, "When did you first realize that you had an issue with your weight?" The first thing that came to mind was being 12 years old and having to do whatever I could to make weight for Pop Warner football. I had to weigh under 140, and each week I was just under as a result of some insane plan. Don't drink water, chew gum and spit as much as you can, wear this garbage bag when you run. I remember being in a play in High School when I was 17, and I thought I would have to appear on stage with my shirt off, so I went on a crazy diet and work out plan. 10 grams of fat and 1,000 calories, run on the treadmill every day. I went from 215 to 180. I remember seeing a picture of myself when I was 21, sitting on the ground, with my gut bulging. I couldn't believe I weighed 250. This past summer I got home from my brother's wedding, and on July 1st I weighed the most I've ever weighed (that I know of) - 34 years old, 286.5 pounds.
I've yo-yo'd for as long as I can remember. I've had success with Weight Watchers, Atkins, hiring personal trainers... short bursts of amazing results. It is a joke how many times I have lost the same pounds. I never seem to last much more than 3 months at a time, and I've never had much success at keeping with the healthy routines. As early as February I participated in a Diet Bet post Super Bowl because I was over 260 and lost over 4% in 28 days. But by June, gained it back and then some.
I have learned a lot about nutrition and my body in these countless failed attempts. When I got home from the wedding I knew that I had to do something. At times it feels like quicksand; the more I struggle the worse it gets, and I am still afraid that I will continue my pattern that so many who struggle with weight fall into after some success. It usually all comes back, and then some. I am 5'9'' on a good day. I don't ever want to see 300 pounds on the scale, and I was far too close for comfort just a few months ago. I'm buying in (again). I am going to do everything I can to join the select few who have found a way to lose it and keep it off.
I think blogging can help. The other day I decided to google "100 pounds lost blogs" and I found so many results. I clicked on one, www.bendoeslife.tumblr.com, and clicked on the option to start from the beginning, and I read with great interest as I followed his journey from over 350 pounds to running an Iron Man only 18 months later. I related to his self consciousness, and I was inspired by his pictures showing clothes that had no chance of fitting gradually fitting as a result of his "doing life". He ended up running 8 marathons and writing a book.
I was disappointed to see that his posts became less frequent, and that eventually he gained most of his weight back. Scary and disheartening. But still, he's still blogging and he is still battling. So brave to do it so publicly. It's an additional level of accountability. Also I think it is important to be a part of a community where we can support each other and learn from each other's successes and failures. My blog may inspire someone else someday.
So as of today, October 26th, I've lost 43 pounds. I haven't been perfect and I am still tweaking my approach, but the idea is to plan for the long haul. I've joined Lifetime Fitness and bought in completely to their plan. I am working with a Registered Dietitian, taking all sorts of natural supplements, and training for a 10k on Thanksgiving. I'm probably gonna register for another in January.
Today was a big day for me. I ran 5 miles without stopping. I don't know that I've ever done it before, and even if I have it certainly wasn't something I thought possible a few months ago. It wasn't fast,
but I don't care. I got it done. That is my only goal for this Turkey Trot next month; to finish without stopping. I do hope to start chronicling my times to show my progress (again, inspired by Ben Does Life).
100 pounds. However long it takes. More importantly, KEEP IT OFF! The habits that are making this possible are not easy. I'm going to a Team Training class 3 days a week (when I can), and I have to be there at 5am. In order to keep my diet in order I have to spend hours shopping for and preparing food, and there isn't much I know how to make yet, so it's repetitive. But man am I getting more than I am losing. Energy, strength, confidence, happiness, will power, and most likely years of my life, and more quality in those years. I want to model better behavior for my kids.
I promise the posts won't all be this long. I will try to post frequently, and I will do my best to give an honest account of my successes and failures, for me and for anyone else who may use this for their own attempts at self improvement. For now, I'll post an ugly picture I took after I finished my 5 miles today, in an effort to overcome my disgust and shame of selfies.
Terrible.
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